What's on my mind.

12 July 2008

It's Panic Time.

Will you indulge me as I ramble about the relatively inconsequential things freaking me out today? Thanks.

Last night I got a manicure and pedicure. The pedicure was ok. It wasn't the most self-indulgent luxurious thing I've ever done but someone else painted my toenails. Also, I don't know if I kicked something and don't remember it or if the girl managed to bruise the top of my foot. The manicure wasn't worth it. Not only did she not do a good job shaping my nails but I found a hang nail on the way home and had two nails that she didn't get fully painted. Now I know clear polish makes it harder to see mistakes but I saw them while driving! Also, apparently I can't keep polish unchipped or peeling for more than a couple of hours even when professionally applied. It is kind of neat when you can pull a whole nail's worth of polish off the base coat in one piece. Last night I was thinking I could fix just those two nails, now I'm going to have to strip it all off and reapply in the car to Birmingham.

A few weeks ago it was fun to go looking for something to wear to my niece's wedding. It was fun to look for something pretty and slightly fancy and not the kind of thing I normally wear. As this week as progressed I've been more and more worried if what I was planning on wearing was really "right" I can't put my finger on why it wouldn't be but...This morning I started trying to figure out what else I could wear. Is there another top I could wear with the skirt? I could wear what I originally thought I'd wear, maybe, but that's not very dressy. By the time I got in the shower my mind was in double time trying to decide. Do I go with safe, unobtrusive, plain Jane and not really dressy enough or something that might draw attention to me? If people look at me I might have to crawl under a pew.

Then I started thinking about the reception. OMG, strangers! Again, last week and early this week it was fun to think about the possibility that my niece and her fiance had some cute, possibly slightly older, friend who would sweep me off my feet. Or at least ask me to dance. Today, part of me is wishing I could skip the reception. If history is any guide I won't speak to anyone I don't already know and will, at best, stand at the fringes of the dance floor (read: against the wall) and sway to the music.

I managed to get upset enough about this that I was crying in the shower. If I think about it much now, I may start again. I'm still not sure what I'm going to wear and I have about an hour and a half before we leave. When I start freaking out about going to a TBDC dance I can just not go, that's not really an option with this.

One of the very few social events I'll attend this year that isn't work related or involve a family member's birthday and I'm falling to pieces. I think I need a drink.

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